Has there ever been a point in your life where you felt forgiveness was just too good to be true? When you knew that God had forgiven you, but you just couldn’t let yourself off the hook and forgive you? Maybe that is where you are right now.
Dear sister, I too find this place all too familiar, and it is a place where I have spent most of my life. It is a self-destructive place to be, and it is only now that I am realizing that I am the only person who can change that. For years I have carried a burden of guilt and shame so great it has nearly destroyed me. But I have decided that is to be no longer. I claim the words that Jesus spoke, “So if the Son sets you free you will be free indeed!” (John 8:36). When I reached the end of myself, I cried out to the Father in my brokenness, and He came and lifted me up. My sin and shame is now buried at the foot of His cross. In place of fear I now lift my face to His and feel the warmth of His love light shining upon me. His love has freed me. For He promises that His blood cleanses me from all my sin, and He is faithful and just to forgive my sin and to cleanse me from all unrighteousness” (I John 1:7-9).
Receiving forgiveness can be so difficult for us, especially if we do not see ourselves through His eyes. Did you know that the Father loves you just as much as He loves Jesus?! Jesus has come, and He has given you the glory of His Father. He desires for you to come and be with Him where He is (John 17:22-24). The light of His love is shining upon you. Open your mind and heart to receive His heavenly smile of approval. Let His love, tinged with gold, wash over you and soak into the depths of your being. Listen to this message of hope from the Psalms:
“Keep me safe, O God, for I have come to you for refuge…I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me. No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice. My body rests in hope. For you will not leave my soul among the dead…You will show me the way of life, and you will fill me with the joy of your presence” (Ps. 16:8-11).
Is it difficult for you to grasp that there is a God who truly loves you and embraces you where you are? Dearest sister, that has been a battle my soul has grappled with as well. Can you identify with the one who reveals, “It’s hard for me to grasp just how high and wide and deep God’s love is for me. He doesn’t love like I love. He loves unconditionally.” That’s it exactly! God loves us without limitations. Higher, wider, and deeper than we could possibly imagine. “I finally opened my eyes to the Lord and realized that I didn’t ‘find’ Him. He was never lost—I was” (Liz Curtis Higgs in Embrace Grace).
A question to ponder is “If you imagined Jesus looking at you, what might you see in His eyes? Is this a scary question for you? Dear sister, can you, even if for a moment, look through God’s lenses as to how He sees you, rather than through the lenses of how you see yourself? As I ponder this question for myself, I found that my response answered back in the form of questions: “Would I see tears? Tears that were being shed for me? Would I see compassion? Would I see Love walking towards me, Love looking into my eyes? These are the questions I ask, and my heart leads me to the answer of yes, I would see all I have ever hoped and longed for in His eyes looking into mine.
To Him who loves us abundantly more than we could ever ask or think, to Him be the glory and the honor and the praise forever!
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