I wrote this poem recently during a particularly dark and painful time I was going through...thought maybe it could encourage someone else as well...

Your Love Shines Through

There is no night so dark
Your love does not shine through.
Every morning dawns
With Your mercies new.

My heart in anguish wanders
Searching for that glimpse of light,
Only the clouds do hover
And hide the sunlight from my sight.

I know behind the clouds
The sun is shining,
And once again its rays
Their course upon the earth will fling.

But what of the time
Spent hiding in the shadows?
What is it
That You have to show?

Amidst the pain and anguish
Of that place,
I can catch a glimpse
Of the light of Your face.

A face so full
Of tender love,
So divine, so compelling,
Drawing nearer, ever nearer from above.

You seek Your
Lost ones out.
You never leave them
Floundering about.

You reach Your arms
Towards me
As I'm reaching out to You,
You bring me to a place where I am free.

You hold me in Your arms,
You dance across the floor with me.
There is no place on earth
I would rather be.

A Little Child Shall Lead Them

So yesterday I was struggling through a difficult morning, questioning my worth and groveling in the thought that I didn't feel like I had much to live for. Just so you all know, it seems that God's greatest revelations come to me when I'm stuck wallowing in the pit, and then He catches my attention completely off guard, and I once again stand in awe of what an infinitely loving and faithful Father I have. That morning one of the girls I work with came to me and gave a sweet note that so affirmed the fact that I have a purpose, that the love I give is not in vain, and that it brings cheer to another of God's children. And God has allowed that love to be shown back to me-I was so touched by that note and in awe of God, like, "Wow, God, You knew I really needed this today." Later that morning I was in one of the classrooms with the kids, playing, giving hugs, and hanging out with them. One little girl was in my lap, and I tried explaining to her that I needed to go and get their lunch ready, but she was like, "No, don't go." So of course I tried explaining (this can be so hard!). I was like, "Well, what if I don't go, and then you don't have any lunch? That wouldn't be good, would it? I was trying to make it a game of sorts...she replied to me, "We don't want lunch, we want you." That went straight to my heart. And it was like God saying to me, "You know, I don't want anything you can DO for me, I want you. I want your heart." That was such a beautiful realization to me, and it made me think of the verse, "....and a little child shall lead them..." It was spoken with such innocense and abandon to complete honesty.

So yesterday I was taking a walk along the lakeshore, listening to the sound of the waves as they lapped against the shore. It was so peaceful, and I stopped and sat on some steps so I could just listen and ponder. I was thinking about life, and how so often I try to figure it all out, and I worry and wonder what God wants me to do...I mean sometimes life seems so unclear, we have so many questions, there are so many options, and we really wonder how we're ever going to do it all. I get overwhelmed when I think too much about the future and try to figure out answers to my questions when I don't think God is answering fast enough. Looking out across the lake and listening to the waves brought a peace to my troubled heart. I was thinking, "God, why is it that we get so entangled with worrying and trying to figure out our future and completely miss life in the moment?" I mean sometimes I think about all the wonderful things I hope to do, and how I'm going to find God in it all, and I completely forget about God in the here and now, how He wants to reveal Himself to me at this present moment. God is everywhere. You can see Him in the daily rising and setting of the sun, in the breeze as it whispers through the trees, the rise and fall of the waves, each tiny snowflake that falls...I could go on and on... But do I take the time each day to breathe it all in and thank Him for it? Do I see Him in my every day life, or do I miss Him in the moment? I know I want with all my heart for Him to be in every moment of my life, to be able to see Him and know without a shadow of a doubt that He is there. I love Him. He is my Saviour. My Daddy. The One who gave Himself for me. He loves every one of us. He loves YOU! He wants us to know He is right there beside us through every step of the journey, and that He cares about each tiny detail of our lives. He cares enough to speak to us through His creation. But most of all, He speaks to us with His spirit. He gave the ultimate sacrifice in order to have relationship with us!