No Longer One in a Crowd

I have been thinking and journaling on what it means to be a part of the family of God. I look back over my experiences in the many churches I've been through in my short life-time. It saddens me that I experienced some of my deepest wounds in a place that was meant to be a safe place for hurting hearts to come home, to be embraced by others of God's children, and to find hope together in a God that heals and forgives. Instead, I found rejection, legalism, and judgment. I remember the loneliness, the hurt of what if feels to stand from the outside looking in, the exclusion because you "weren't one of them." I am happy to tell you that there was one place in which there was an exception to this general summary I am relating. There was a place where I found love and acceptance among God's people, and that made all the difference in the world to me. I am ever grateful to them, and I love these people dearly. In more recent years I have come to know many people who truly love and care for those who are outside their door. I have found myself as one of those who has been welcomed in. In writing all this, I'm asking myself the question, "How do I reach out in love and warmth to welcome those who are perhaps visiting, those who may be searching for the truth, or those who may be new in the fold?" Do I get so caught up in my own little world made up of the people who I am directly involved with that I don't "see" anyone else outside of that group? Am I so busy trying to keep myself "safe" that I immediately scurry off to some corner where I don't have to relate to anyone? I'm afraid I do this far too often. How is it that people know we are true children of God? By our love. By the love they see among us, and the love we share without us. Oh, how I long to be a divine instrument of His love. Oh, that I may have the strength, the courage that I can only find in Him, to reach out to those He places in my path, those who are searching for the answers to their questions, those who are lost on their way, desperately longing for something more in life. Friends, we HAVE the answer! It is Jesus Christ! We must come alongside those who are wounded and weary and point them to the only One who can satisfy their heart's deepest longings and answer their deepest questions. I have a poem to share, which I wrote awhile back in the beginning of my journey...

One in a Crowd

Comin' through the church doors,
Sittin' in the pew,
Listenin' to the preacher,
I am someone new.

I tag along behind
Someone that I know.
I'm scared to go alone -
I'd end up a "no-show."

Standin' in the sidelines,
Sittin' on a chair,
Watchin' other folks
Talkin' here or there.

They must be well acquainted,
Good friends they all must be.
I wish that I could know them,
But I'm too scared, you see.

I'm afraid of new people,
I'm afraid of new things.
I'm afraid of life
And what it will bring.

Sadly I wonder,
"Is there no place for me?"
The past grips my memory -
Will it this way always be?

I retreat into silence -
Fear shuts the door.
I'm one in a crowd
And nothing more.
a.m.d
October 2007

I am no longer one lost in the crowd, for there is One who has found me.